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    Home Unlabelled Crusader Kings oh no my incestuous secret was revealed... but how?

    Crusader Kings oh no my incestuous secret was revealed... but how?

    October 03, 2020

    Crusader Kings oh no my incestuous secret was revealed... but how?

    oh no my incestuous secret was revealed... but how?

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 06:57 AM PDT

    Trying out a new meme format

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 08:30 AM PDT

    He won't let me divorce my wife but would help me murder her.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 07:48 AM PDT

    So I just figured out the main downside of having a ton of kids (whole family died of stress chain reaction)

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 02:30 PM PDT

    I accidentally burned 1 of my husbands, 2 of my own kids, 3 of my brothers and 10 of my sisters to kill 2 rivals at my party.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 06:40 AM PDT

    We all want the same thing

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 05:32 PM PDT

    Fun fact – Hassan-i Sabbah, the infamous founder of the Assassins, is an unlanded courtier in the 1066 start

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 03:01 AM PDT

    I saw this in my dream and I had to do it

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 04:22 AM PDT

    Browsing the CK 3 wiki and noticed something Nice.

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 01:24 PM PDT

    My First ever completed way of life.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 07:07 AM PDT

    Sup guys, name my band.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 03:32 AM PDT

    Someone asked in a group how to conver Vikings to Catholicism.

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 03:46 PM PDT

    Ahh yes, Odin's Valkyries. Just as I remember them.

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 12:20 PM PDT

    When your eugenics program goes too far. Seriously though, has this happened to anyone else?

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 11:30 PM PDT

    Man this party is boring. BRB Burning the whole F*ckin place down.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 06:13 AM PDT

    My slightly incestous family of hellenic gods and goddesses.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 04:44 AM PDT

    AI Sweeden raiding South India

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 02:21 AM PDT

    The story of King Sancho of Castille

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 07:46 AM PDT

    These last couple days I played my first Crusader Kings game. I typically enjoy the strategy part of strategy games more, so when I found out that Crusader Kings is focused less on strategy and more on story I didn't expect to enjoy it much. However, my first time opening the game I spent literally 12 straight hours playing. I enjoyed playing with my first character King Sancho so much that I tried to put it down into a short story, which you can see below.

    Short is relative of course. I think I could literally write a novel if I go into detail on the lives, personalities and decisions of the major characters, that's what makes this game so great. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it😊

    Our story starts of as King Sancho II of castile. Sancho is young, single, rich and owns a kingdom, and yet instead of spending his days in blissful content he somehow has managed to piss of both his brothers to the point where they are considered rivals. Wouldn't be too much of a problem, if not for the fact that that they are both kings of neighboring Leon and Galaccia. Oh and we all have claims on each others kingdom, so there's that.

    Well all right then. So I get to work, fill out my council with excellent advisor. Besides for my bishop, who seems to be barely literate with his learning skill of 7 and yet has been appointed by the pope for reasons. Anyway, I marry a young lowborn woman named Urraka with Beautiful trait and excellent stewardship skills, and start putting my kingly seed to good use. Doesn't take to long for young Leon to put a bun in that oven, and with the future of my dynasty secured I turn my thoughts to my villainous brothers, who so generously have been minding their own business while I have been securing my kingdom.

    Turns out I am first in line of succession for both kingdoms, seeing as they are both childless, so I spent some time thinking about which brother I wanted to take out first. I decided on the King of Leon, just because the name Leon has a pretentious ring to it. The months go by, the plot thickens and suddenly someone seems to have acquired a venomous spider. I think to myself surely if you can get a spider in the kings bedroom you could probably just put a knife in his back in a corridor somewhere, but far be it from me to question my 25 intrigue spymaster, so I give the go for operation arachnid and lo and behold I have become the king of Leon.

    However the medieval Sherlock's over at Leon have somehow traced the spider back to me, so now the world knows I am a murderer, and my close family call me kinslayer. I debate with myself whether I should further antagonize house Jimena and assassinate my other brother the king of Navarra as well, but before I could decide he drops dead in a stroke (hehe) of good luck and my third kingdom is delivered right into my lap.

    With all this going on, triple king Sancho kind of ignored internal affairs entirely and imagine the shock when he finds out that his over-eagerness in the bedroom has resulted in 4 sons in a kingdom with partition. After studying the legal documents I come to the conclusion that it'll take at least another 200 years for primogeniture to be invented, so I am well and thoroughly in the shit at this point. I briefly consider assassinating three sons, but Sancho just doesn't have the heart to do that.

    Somewhere along the way I discover that I can unite the Spanish crowns under one kingdom which will be passed on to my oldest son, and wanting to avoid slaying any more kin King Sancho dedicates his lifestyle to the noble martial arts, and puts his mind to conquering the entire peninsula.

    What follows is the decade of holy wars against the infidels to the south. With three kingdoms my levies have grown significantly, and I pick up duchies one by one, all the while rushing my armies back and forth to deal with revolts every two years on my newly conquered lands. I came close to absolute defeat around the 10th year. I was fighting the powerful Kingdom of Maghreb for a duchy in southern Spain, when a religious revolt kicked off all across my growing kingdom and simultaneously the pope decided to force my hand to finally commit my troops to the crusade for Jerusalem. I emptied my treasury hiring mercenaries to deal with the troublesome peasants, left behind my marshal with half the army to continue conquering southern Spain and took the other half myself on a nice cruise to Jerusalem.

    Halfway through my trip to Jerusalem my son and primary heir died in the Reconquista because I forgot to forbid him from fighting. I admit I was less upset about that than I should have been given my partition predicament. But after a lengthy game of cat and mouse spanning several years I defeat the rebels, conquer all of Southern Spain, and managed to become the primary contributer to the crusade for Jerusalem by avoiding any massive battles and using my large squad of mangonels to siege half of the counties in Jerusalem one at a time.

    King Sancho the crusader returns to Spain victorious, flush with gold, piety, prestige and martial skills of 27.

    One more county must be conquered for me to be able to firstly create and then fully unite the 7 crowns of Spain, and avoid partition. A small county in the north on the slopes of the Pyrenees, who happens to be part of the kingdom of France. France seems to have roughly the same amount of troops as me so I recruit the only claimant who would join my court, count Guillerme, and declare war on ze French. I quickly occupy the county, but have to move into France proper and start besieging a bunch of counties to get my war score up. Things seem to be going quite well, im picking off the fragmented armies of France and ticking up the number of occupied counties when I notice a absolutely massive fleet of 15k soldiers of the Byzantime empire appear on my east coast. I say a quick prayer to the poor soul that is the target of their wrath, and continue to focus my efforts on those pesky cake eating Frenchmen.

    I suddenly get a message notifying me my capital is under siege. Imagine my surprise when it turns out the massive byzantine army I saw earlier has invaded my realm. Some quick investigating finds out that the King of France is married to none other than the sister of the Byzantine Emperor. A valuable lesson about checking alliances before declaring war was learned that day. It seems unlikely that the entire byzantine army would make the trip to Spain for a war with an ally over a single county that is de jure part of my kingdom anyway. But maybe the emperor and his sister are very close, so who am I to judge. With my head bowed down in shame I negotiate a white peace.

    With the peace treaty lasting 5 years, King Sancho focuses on North Africa. The large juicy Kingdom of Maghreb lies to the South, and not knowing how many years he has left King Sancho declares a once in a lifetime Holy War, and successfully conquers the kingdom.

    During this time, I also scheme to assassinate the Queen of France, and one fateful day she is accosted by brigands in the woods and no one is the wiser. With the Byzantine alliance broken I exact my revenge on the French, take the county, capture the king in a battle and enforce my demands.

    At age 65 King Sancho has conquered the Iberian peninsula, unites the thrones, and will go down as King Sancho the Father of Spain. In his twilight years King Sancho forms the Empire of Hispania, enacts high partition, grants the kingdom of Maghreb to one his sons, and a duchy to the other, ensuring that my primary heir, Infante Sancho III will get all important titles. But just as Sancho was preparing to make his final journey in life, fate had one last surprise for him. While browsing through the list of claimants to the kingdom of France I find out that none other than my vassal Count Guillerme has a claim on the entire kingdom of France, through ways I still do not understand!

    There are many ways one might want to spend the final years of one's life, but Emperor Sancho spent his successfully conquering France, adding King Guillerme of France to his growing list of vassals. As a last act he also completes building the Grand Cathedral in Santiago, a place pilgrims will travel far and wide to visit, ensuring a monument to his glory that will stand the test of time.

    Sancho, Emperor of Hispania, King of Castille, father of Spain, Paragon of Virtue, Living legend amongst men and Crusader knight dies peacefully at the age of 71.

    Emperor Sancho II is dead, long live Emperor Sancho III!

    submitted by /u/robbylab
    [link] [comments]

    Such an intense gaze indeed.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 12:50 AM PDT

    They do be kinda losing fervor doe ��

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 08:31 AM PDT

    TIL you can't seduce imbecile characters

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 09:39 AM PDT

    i’ve finally gotten this goddamn achievement after way too many tries

    Posted: 02 Oct 2020 03:44 PM PDT

    imma bring you my king, who fought 22 wars during his reign. 17 of those are Andalusian Muslim uprisings.

    Posted: 03 Oct 2020 06:38 AM PDT
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