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    Home Unlabelled Crusader Kings The Bishop about to kick some sinners asses straight to hell

    Crusader Kings The Bishop about to kick some sinners asses straight to hell

    September 12, 2021

    Crusader Kings The Bishop about to kick some sinners asses straight to hell

    The Bishop about to kick some sinners asses straight to hell

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 03:53 AM PDT

    Release me from this purgatory

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 10:32 AM PDT

    Everyone gangster until Populist Uprising becomes a legitimate state

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 04:21 AM PDT

    Am I the only one who slides the breast size slider all to the right on his male characters so his daughters will have a bigger bust?

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 05:56 AM PDT

    I don't know if it even does anything but my daughters are usually better endowed than other females in the game.

    submitted by /u/Razogoth
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    One of the reasons why our dread is always over 80

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 11:08 AM PDT

    I have 14 underage kids. Is it really necessary to invite them 1 by 1 to a party?

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 04:50 AM PDT

    Damn you, Cordoba, and your ridiculously high development score!

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 07:16 AM PDT

    My Croatian thot queen got ran train on by the Karling dynasty (CK3)

    Posted: 11 Sep 2021 07:04 PM PDT

    So, in one of my previous saves, I created a 16 year old, Catholic, Bisexual, Genius, Beautiful, Fecund, Gregarious, Temperate, Lustful, Diligent Croatian Ban of Dalmatia named Ekaterina in the 867 start. My main mission - in addition to forming the Kingdom of Croatia - was to sleep with as many of the Karling men, and potentially have at least one child with each of them.

    My first goal was making Ludwig the German my baby daddy, as well as marrying Louis the Stammerer (I was able to get a matrilineal marriage with him, too). Reason why I gunned for Ludwig the German first was because the guy was old, and I didn't wanna risk him dying of old age before he could get his nut in. So, I went forth with a seduction scheme with a 70% - 80% (can't remember the exact number) chance of success.

    Around 3 months later, Louis the Stammerer knocked me up. Then a month later, out of sheer luck, Ludwig the Younger was trying to seduce me. Of course, I went with it. Couple of months later, Ekaterina gave birth to twin boys - a firstborn son, of whom I named Aleksander, and the second son, I named Karl. About a month or two later, I successfully got Ludwig the German to get in my guts and become my lover. Lud the German knocked me up, but I didn't say anything about it to anyone else other than Lud. That son, I named Vladislav.

    At that point, I was (I think) 19, had 3 sons (Aleksander, Karl, & Vladislav) with 2 Karlings, slept with 3 Karling men, and 2 of them were my lovers (Ludwig the German & Ludwig the Younger). My next goal was my father in law (Charles the Bald).

    I started the seduction scheme and not too long after, I found out I was preggo with Lud the Younger's kid. I told him about it, but no one else. That kid popped out, and it was another son. I named him Karlomann (as suggested by my husband). Then eventually, I seduced my dad-in-law successfully, and got knocked up by him. A daughter, of whom I named Ekaterina (after myself), and hooked her up with her half-brother, Carlomann (the disfigured dude / Louis the stammerer's lil brother), who got widowed since AI previously hooked him up with an ancient woman who died of old age.

    So now I was prolly 22 - 23 years old, had 5 kids, and 4 baby daddies and all four of them Karlings. Next on my "dick checklist" was Louis the Younger of Italy.

    Started a seduction scheme on him. Two months later, Lud the German knocked me up, then a month later, he died. Had a daughter, Ludmila. Betrothed Ludmila to my widowed boyfriend Ludwig the Younger (as his wife died in childbirth), who didn't know he was betrothed to his half sister.

    Out of curiosity, I checked the neighboring Ban, and he actually became an Adamite. So, with the help of my allies I was able to take the Duchy of Croatia thru a holy war. In the middle of the war though, I did successfully seduce Louis the Younger. After taking Croatia, I found out he had prior conquered enough territories that combined with mine could make the Kingdom of Croatia. I just had to grind up some money.

    Got knocked up by Louis the Younger, then started going for (King) Arnulf of Bavaria (Karlomann had died of sickness a long while ago before I could try to fuck him). I had twin girls, Aleksandra and Ermentrude.

    For those not counting, I had 7 kids and 5 Karling baby daddies, with 1 dead.

    You know the drill by now; I started a seduction scheme on Arnulf. Ffw a bit, and I finally got enough money to make the Kingdom of Croatia and became Queen. Out of the blue, I found out that my husband, Louis the Stammerer, was fucking one of his younger sisters and had knocked her up. I was pissed as hell, because I didn't wanna be out-thotted by my sister-in-law. (Before you ask, yes, many people tried blackmailing me, but none of them used their hooks on me, so why should I care). I still kept Louis around, despite him giving his sister the pipe. Besides, I had seduced Arnulf... and got knocked up by him. Then, I went for Lothaire II. I had another daughter, Julia, whom I hooked up with Arnulf's son, because incest.

    8 kids, 6 Karling baby daddies.

    I seduced Lothaire II, got knocked up, started trying to seduce Carlomann (my husband's brother), had another daughter (Lothaire's daughter). Named her Matilda. Hooked her up with her big half-bro, Hugues.

    9 kids, 7 baby daddies.

    Unsurprisingly, I successfully seduced Carlomann. Immediately, I started going after Karl (Ludwig the Younger's brother). Carlomann knocked me up, and I had... another daughter. Named her Mila.

    10 kids, 8 baby daddies.

    I nearly failed swooning Karl, but I managed to seduce him, because my Croatian cake was too thicc to quit. Got knocked up. Had... another damn daughter. Named her Ermengarde.

    11 kids, 9 baby daddies.

    Alas, my dick crusade came to an end there, because I ran out of Karling men to fuck, and I was in my mid-late 30s. So, I just settled for my husband and my 7 boyfriends... Then my save file got corrupted when I stupidly disabled several mods and tried playing the same file... :')

    And that's the story of how Queen Ekaterina of Croatia's coochie got passed around the Karling family like a fucking heirloom.

    (Edit: Fixed typos.)

    submitted by /u/daddygotedgeback
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    Very Successful Indeed.

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 01:18 AM PDT

    Gandalf I'd like to ask you a question...

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 06:38 AM PDT

    Finally, after dozens of hours, I got this little guy!

    Posted: 11 Sep 2021 02:39 PM PDT

    After 200 hours in the game I finally formed my first empire and I'm really proud of myself.

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 01:47 AM PDT

    I just formed my first empire, Rus, after multiple failed attempts, mostly through quitting campaigns too early to start a new one lol but sometime through mistakes I've made. But it feels great! I did it in only three generations too. It feels really good knowing i did everything right to get to this point. It has been such a rollercoaster and definitely my most memorable campaign so far.

    Idk I know it's not a big deal to a lot of people because empires get created all the time but mam this is super exciting for me. I also learned a lot about the game that I didn't know so I feel like this campaign has really upped my game.

    submitted by /u/DubiousDevil
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    I'm kinda new to the game, are 1 year old Jarls supposed to be able to send me poems? Kid's a damn prodigy

    Posted: 11 Sep 2021 04:11 PM PDT

    Ragnar's sons in Ella's dungeon

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 03:58 AM PDT

    My vassal is, uh, a little broken

    Posted: 11 Sep 2021 03:43 PM PDT

    I did Geralt Of Rivia on CK3

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 01:38 AM PDT

    They didn't think this one through, did they?

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 04:55 AM PDT

    Who knew trying to join the Assassins would lead to all this?

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 12:24 PM PDT

    Why CK3 needs tributes back

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 10:11 AM PDT

    Recently, I was listening to a podcast on Robert Guiscard and his nephew, Roger II of Sicily. Roger was King not only of Sicily, but also controlled Tunis. He also had a considerable Orthodox Greek and Muslim Arab population in his kingdom, despite being a Catholic Norman, and they loved him, or at least liked him.

    Tributes should be brought back. Early on, you should be able to declare war to have a neighboring county oh you tribute in your/their lifetime, and maybe by high Middle Ages, there should be an option to establish tribute states. These states are semi-vassals, and the more they like you, the more likely they are to stay (hostages should also be a thing after every war, just saying).

    And if you have enough prestige and acceptance by your tributes, they should count as land for founding a higher title. Say, I'm the Catholic Duke of Apuila and Capau and the Muslim Emir of Sicily is my tribute. I should be able to form Sicily kingdom

    submitted by /u/Sims177
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    Least intelligent Sardinian woman

    Posted: 11 Sep 2021 10:00 PM PDT

    How do you convert to a far away religion? I want to convert to Judaism but it costs like 10k piety

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 10:15 AM PDT

    First Elder Kings 2 Gameplay

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 08:49 AM PDT

    he’s still alive and I just got him into my Hungarian court

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 04:52 AM PDT

    "Pacified"

    Posted: 12 Sep 2021 04:58 AM PDT
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