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    Crusader Kings Feudal Friday : February 21 2020

    Crusader Kings Feudal Friday : February 21 2020


    Feudal Friday : February 21 2020

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 09:09 AM PST

    Welcome to another Feudal Friday, a place for you to regale the courts of Europa with your tales. Stories, screenshots and achievements are all welcome.


    Previous Feudal Fridays

    Current Tutorial Tuesdays

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    CK3 Discord Live Q/A with the developers - Thursday Feb. 27, 11:30am CET ��

    Posted: 20 Feb 2020 07:47 AM PST

    Wait it's not the way to play this game ?

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 03:33 AM PST

    Me and my twin sister, my best friend and partner, ruling the Slavic Union together as gods in the year 878.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 06:36 AM PST

    Can you imagine? A harmonious family in the middle ages.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 10:19 AM PST

    Got all the land required for SPQR, but I didn't get the achievement because I don't have LoR.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 01:44 AM PST

    Sometimes I feel like how Catholicism looks. And that's ok.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 10:06 AM PST

    I managed to lose a duel with a dead man

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 03:45 AM PST

    Get the wallet ready

    Posted: 20 Feb 2020 04:34 PM PST

    Nobody conquers the Tamil Kings

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 03:30 AM PST

    don't kick da kitty or da kitti make you maimed

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 07:21 AM PST

    I won a Crusade for Anatolia and lost Territory for it

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 05:21 AM PST

    Norse Dynasty ruling Egypt (Einarria)

    Posted: 20 Feb 2020 09:58 PM PST

    New CK2 challenges available - Harald Hardrade (22/02, 1pm CET)

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 07:10 AM PST

    Choices... Choices...

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 09:25 AM PST

    Can a King be a good person?

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 06:45 AM PST

    Holy cow I have been playing crusader kings 2 for a few years and have had a few stories to tell. However, this one takes the cake and It happened this week. TLDR at the bottom.

    My king, who was baptized by the pope, and absolutely loved by the official church clergy, started dabbling in the occult. Not that big of a deal mind you if he kept it quiet. Well due to "religious rituals" he had a bastard child. Again, not that big of a deal; but his wife found out about it and he could no longer deny his "involvement". In some crazy sense of duty... He fully legitimizes this bastard kid as a full son. Now this bastard can't inherit the throne because there is an older legitimate son. So, no big deal. He was just being a good devil worshiping dad!

    Several years pass and he is busy raiding and pillaging England, while uniting the Viking Irish tribes, and dragging them into a proper civilized feudal society. Well smallpox happens and the legitimate heir dies. Now the big problem happens. His rightful heir is a bastard from an unholy union. This will just not due. It could wreck all his plans at uniting Ireland and getting rich of the tears of welsh women. He decides that the kingdom really needs a new heir. There are several logistical things he needs solve to make this happen.

    · 1st: get rid of lesbian wife that hates him

    · 2nd: find a suitable wife among the same community he is raiding to make it seem like his raiding is just tax collection

    · 3rd: produce Legitimate child (the fun part)

    · 4th: dispose of inconvenient bastard.

    Well. The first part was easy. He spied on his lesbian wife and found her "Friend". Feudalistic society is rather close minded, and it was super easy to convince the same man that baptized him (that's right the pope) to excommunicate her. She is excommunicated and in an ironic twist she was burned at the stake for devil worshiping and being a witch. Whew! The old ball and chain is gone!!

    Several more year's pass. He continues "socializing" with real members of the occult and may have had a few more illegitimate sons. No worries about them though since none of them were acknowledged as his. He eventually finds a new wife (Queen... what's her name)

    while working very hard at producing another heir he works at getting rid of this inconvenient bastard child. This should have been super straight forward. Little princes in he 9th century die all the time, right? Well this little toddler just wouldn't get the message and die. Years go by. The king is still raiding, pillaging, hanging out with witches, corrupting priests, making welsh women cry, and uniting Ireland. Things are going great! Accept the kid just won't kick the bucket. By this time the bastard is about 12 and for sure knows that his devil worshiping dad want to kill him. Since the king can't seem to get the job done, he changes tactics.

    He decides it's time to hang up the Viking hat and put on a crown. He adopts feudalism. You might be asking yourself. How does getting civilized help him off his eldest bastard child? Well. It doesn't! instead it allows him to change the inheritance laws. The king decides to follow suit with several eastern feudalistic societies where the youngest kid gets it all. He adopts feudalism, convinces the council of several changes in the law, changes the inheritance laws to make the youngest son the rightful heir, and manages to have another legitimate son with Queen "what's her face" in the process.

    Everyone is happy now! The king gets a legitimate heir, the king's wife finally gets some piece and quite to cavort with the chancellor, Ireland is finally united under his banner with it's next king secure, and the bastard gets to live! This would have been a great ending…. But this game has taught me that the middle ages never has a happy ending.

    The court has been suspecting for at least a decade that the king is part of the occult! Finally, during one of the more "interesting" occultist parties the kings court has proof! Since the king has spent the last 25 years ransacking the region and forcing all the local rulers to be his subjects, they were all too happy to turn him in to the pope (the same pope that baptized the king… How is he still alive!). The king is excommunicated. The king realizes the game is up. He arrests most of his vassals, takes their titles, banishes, ransoms, or executes the lot of them to prepare for the inevitable ransacking the rest of the catholic community will bring down on him as an excommunicated king. he even manages to take all the money the Jewish community has and banish them. After his 2 years of terror the kingdom is about to splinter into little factions. It's becoming clear the king went a bit to far in his creative tax collections. In one last ditch effort he attempts to reconcile with the pope.

    Our beloved occultist king pleads with the pope to let him back in the church. He even bribes him a kingly bribe with all the money he legally collected from his vassals and the Jews. The pope was very pleased with his bribe and sill has a soft spot for the once beloved king he baptized so long ago. The pope laid down a path to absolution with God, and the church. All the king had to do was abdicated the throne. The not so righteous king thought long and hard about this. He realized that his legacy is in place. He united Ireland, made the rest of Great Britain pay tribute to him, brought civilization to the tribes, and has a legitimate heir ready to go. He decides to abdicate and give the kingdom over to his 5-year-old son and his regent.

    Five months later the toddler king dies of dysentery, and his uncle declares civil war.

    The bastard becomes the rightful heir to Ireland, puts down the civil war, and executes his father for heresy.

    TLDR: Bastard king of Ireland kills his oculist father for… reasons. I doubt that I'm a good person.

    submitted by /u/Y3tAnotherAccount2
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    Felicior Auguto, melior Traiano

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 11:36 AM PST

    I found a copy of my thoughts during my first playthrough

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 08:13 AM PST

    Foreword: So I have the tendency to explain my actions in video games to myself and anyone who'll listen. In this case, my friend Doc. This was originally a conversation I posted at him over Steam. We had the habit at the time to copy and paste anything interesting said in Steam. I had just gotten CK2 with a bunch of DLC on sale after watching Arumba play. I knew the basics but wasn't exactly competent. I decided to roleplay through the first 3 kings of Mercia. Sadly I only have this record of my first sitting and I don't have anything else from this campaign. Though I do recall I never unified Britain.

    Edit: This was apparently sometime in December 2016.

    I, Offa of Mercia, do not crave power, mostly because I do now know how to obtain it...

    I care for my children, manage the politics of my kingdom, I've spent these last years trying to find some common ground with the heathen west.

    I've raised my son to be a great successor, he's cynical, but his tongue is silver. I'm old now, my body barely moves.

    My wife brought me a dog today- to help calm the addle-panics. But it's no secret now, they know my mind is going.

    I don't recall who I am most times.

    What a mockery of a things, my hair's still red but my mind is gone.

    I saw Eadmund the other day, I remember when I first met him; He was some lowely serf that I saw promise in and chose to raise up as my physician. He has cared for my children these last 20 years. He is my dearest friend, I asked him to kill me. He ran. There will be other chances...

    My wife has taken control of the state in my stead- She is a wonderful financier but I worry the realm intrigue will go over her head.

    On the first of October I fell asleep and did not wake up.

    Offa is dead, a goodly and humble man, may he rest with his Blessed Virgin. I am Ecgfriþ now, King of Mercia.

    I will put this silver tongue to good use. The Wiglafingas were a thorn in father's side, it is time to pry them out!

    I spy, and spy, and spy, the man is somehow both chaste and a hedonist but he so far provides no good blackmail material, how droll.

    I am warring and winning the Wiglafingas, they had to die before Beorhtweald's father launches his attack- Not that he will now, I've blackmailed him. If he so much as sneezes at something I don't want him to, I'll spread his infidelity, and what he did to that goat.

    It is done. Wiglafingas is dead, or may as well be, what he has now I would not call life.

    I turn to Lincolnscir now, old Aldfriþ thinks he is my equal. The paranoid zealot would likely notice my assassination attempts- However, I doubt his 10 year old son will.

    Oh nevermind that, I caught him talking about deposing me and threw him into a pit!

    I have a son now, Offa the Second. And... apparently my Karling sister has died of some strange black pox. One less claimant I suppose?

    The court now thinks the last of the old-guard is a crossdresser, just as well, I've found a good replacement for him.

    The Roman Empire has converted to Idiocy and is now raiding their own temples. Sic transit gloria mundi.

    Consumption has entered Cuþbeorht's corrupt halls, I meanwhile have closed the gates and put aside my knife. I have other things to do now than kill. Such as finding comfort with my foes' wives.

    Hallelujah! My wife is dead! Cursed bitch! She wasted 7 years of life running away into Francia, her gout finally killed her! Ha ha! If that cur daughter of hers makes any passage to my land I will kill her. Everyone hates me already, that damned bitch ruined my life.

    Illness after illness attacks my isle, war is growing frequent. A hunchback mystic from some old kingdom of Hicumpta- Cleopatra is her name, has arrived bearing secrets of some 'philosopher's stone'? Perhaps I needn't fear death after all...

    My spy master is stealing my cookies and asks that I be less cynical. I THINK NOT!

    The hunchback Cleopatra is having me skulk through alleys like a common thief, says I need to pickpocket people. This is questionable.

    Oh yes, I captured some Turk mercenary-king awhile back, he's been sitting in my dungeon. I'll take his eye and let him go.

    The merchant I attempted to rob has chopped off my arm, what a terrible idea!

    As Ecgfriþ entered his home on the night of July 2nd, bloody and mutilated, he fell to the ground dead. His heart stopped in shock.

    Father's dead now. Murdered by some manical act of the council no doubt. They cannot be trusted, I warned him! They say I am too young to inherit, it is all a play to take my throne from me! Some old ally of Grandfather's sits on my throne. Oh, blood will spill from the rafters... But first... Father's wife is so very handsome.

    ...Whatever happened to Grandfather's dog?

    submitted by /u/Blackcoldren
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    Prince Archbishop Glitterhoof! My liege made glitterhoof take the vows and it wound up as my vassal

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 02:58 AM PST

    My Capital is unable to be sieged despite being outnumbered 2 to 1...

    Posted: 20 Feb 2020 08:40 PM PST

    'Our armies shall meet on the field of battle!'

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 10:37 AM PST

    First attempt at creating the Kingdom of Aquitaine. I still have to get the other provinces to get a full house but so far so good! I started as Gascogne in 936 A.D.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 06:45 AM PST

    I've been stuck here for about 150 years any suggestions?

    Posted: 21 Feb 2020 11:01 AM PST

    Some people just can't bear me

    Posted: 20 Feb 2020 01:14 PM PST

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